2 Fund Or Not 2 Fund: MK2 Lancer

To Fund, Or Not To Fund #2FON2F

Dizzy Cooper

Who doesn’t want to see a real life Energy Sword? Or possibly a MK2 Lancer? Maybe you’re weird and want to see a real-life Dubstep Gun. In these bi-weekly articles, I will address some of our favorite and most iconic video game weaponry through the realities of our present day. We will dive into the accessibility of using/creating the technology needed, the functionality of how the weapon could be utilized, and finally, effectiveness to address how it would be used in an actual battlefield. All aspects of these articles will be filtered through our world, separate from a video game world where anything imaginable is possible.

Case 2

Mark 2 Lancer Assault Rifle

Gears of War has established itself as being an engrossing and action packed series that pits mankind against invasive creatures called the Locust. Armed with devastating weapons and a merciless thirst for domination, the Locust were a formidable opponent. Yet the humans, known as the Coalition of Ordered Governments (aka COG) had a special weapon: the iconic MK2 Lancer Assault Rifle. Being an upgrade of the original knife bayonet MK1, the reissued Mark AR came with the traumatizing chainsaw attachment. From severing enemies in half to battling out a button-mashing duel, the MK2 solidified its position in the video game weaponry Hall of Fame for both its originality as well as its majestic ferocity.

Accessibility: With my machinery-ignorant brain, and at the risk of discrediting myself, I will just say: we have assault rifles and we have chainsaws. Seems pretty plausible to me. We would not need to create any sort of mechanism, rather reinventing what we know to work. We would need to throw money at consolidating the two and making them as compact as possible. The GoW wiki explains the operational mode of the MK2 is gasoline powered. The start-up of the chainsaw seems quick and easy, versus our ripcord motors, it is possible we could convert the bayonet to an electrical engine.The assault rifle itself is a medium that the military has painted on in many different ways, from full-auto to burst, the needed components to make this famous video game weapon already exists.

Functionality: In the blueprints of the Mark 2 Lancer, we can see the existence of a main gear connected to what seems to be a small rotating mechanism. I am sure that the technological advances in this universe are far superior, but for our Earth reality, the chainsaw would barely function. In regards to modern high powered chainsaws, there is a robust, encumbering motor that gives the saw enough torque to power through the resistance of any object with significant density. Having a single and small engine, that appears to be solely rotary, would never have enough “umph” to cut through a table, let alone a creature with a thick hard hide like the Locust. For this feature to work, one would have to attach a full functioning, independent chainsaw to the assault rifle. Many people have been fascinated with this idea/possibility and a company called Panacra X, have brought it into reality. Staying in tune of the ebb and flow of fading fads, the company has produced the Zombie X Chainsaw, an electric saw bayonet complete with a mounted handle.

The next point may seem fairly nitpicky, but hey, we have to live within the confines of reality and so can these weapons. Again looking at the blueprint, it appears that the chainsaw is overlapping, if not intruding, in on the ammunition feed. We can chock it up to a design flaw, but in our world, that’s a major, catastrophic, waste of money design flaw. Not only would it obstruct the bullets, but in exchange the bullets would obstruct the saw, forcing this weapon to be immediately ineffective in a firefight. To dodge this problem, the bayonet needs to be pushed forward, yet again, screaming for an attachable independent chainsaw.

Effectiveness: Clogging. Even in the games we hear of COGs having difficulty removing the meat and gunk from their saws, the squishy textures would not just fling out of the teeth like rigid bits of wood. In fact, with the assault grip, the user is simply filling up the guts of their gun mechanisms with huge pieces of meat [promiscuous mom joke removed]. Nobody enjoys that [promiscuous mom joke #2 removed], especially when it has the chance of jamming your bullet feed. Within the grand scheme of it, the main/safe usage would be utility.

The chainsaw bayonet would be more effective with clearing debris. Broken doors, downed trees, you know, the basic functions of a chainsaw. The only possible, but highly unlikely, reason we would need this feature would be to cut through body armor. Yet there is not standard issue armor or equipment yet, used in the battlefield, that would require action to that extent. Having to worry about the amount of gasoline and the risk of attracting enemies by the sound is an unnecessary precaution in battle. Using the bayonet for the utility function would be what makes this weapon worth it. Plus, and not to be flagrant with it, but the proposed ability to saw someones shoulder or hand is at the ready in extreme life or death moments- but be ready for it to jam, have a 3rd weapon when your secondary stops working properly.

Verdict

Do Not Fund

P3P host, Luc Croft, brought up an excellent point, a point that I wish I would have tackled with my first 2FON2F. Which was this, in the form of a question: would this weapon be allowed to be a standard issue piece of equipment when filtered through the Geneva Convention? Through the military-law report “Weapons that may cause Unnecessary Suffering or have Indiscriminate Effects” they tackle the usage of a multitude of weapons that were emerging around 1973, plenty of years in the past where our military advances that since outdated. Yet, at the end of the report, they tack on Chapter VII: Potential Weapons Development. 225 reads:

“…One thing which is certainly true, however, and which should be noted at the outset of this chapter, is that there will always be many novel weapon concepts which appear militarily attractive at first sight, but whose attractions do not survive the detailed scrutiny of what would actually be entailed if the concept were reduced to practice. Considerations of control, logistics, maintenance, user-competence, and so forth, impose severe constraints on the introduction of new weapons.”

Due to the design, functionality, and combative flaws, this weapon would not make it to fruition. Not only would it be an unethical and unsanctioned weapon to wield but it proves too much as a hazard to its user. Through different means, that are not through the US Government, you can have your own makeshift MK2. It may not be exactly as it plays on GoW but at least you can have a close second. Then you can realize how inefficient and encumbering it is. So enjoy the weapon in its original environment and rip through Locust scum in the safety of your own home.